What Does A Submissive Even Look Like?!

Today a 59-year-old man on OkCupid offered to “train me as his submissive”.  I wish that I could say this was the first (heck, even the second!) such offer but alas it is around the fifteenth.

I was just about to hit the delete button when the pissed off (and stupid) part of my brain took over the keys.  I responded to his (kind and generous) offer with: “What is it about my pictures that make men want to train me?  It’s not my thing.  :)”.  I added the smiley face so that the rejection didn’t sting so much, haha.

His response?  “I don’t know about other men but your pictures make me want to [insert incredibly disgusting sexual suggestion here]”.

I should *never* engage with these people and I keep forgetting that!  I deleted the messages and moved on with my day.  But it really made me wonder… what the heck is it about me?  Some possibilities that keep floating through my mind…

  • These guys are just sending this out to everyone that they possibly can, hoping to strike gold.
  • I’m an over-weight nearly 30-year-old woman and maybe they are hoping that I am just *that* desperate.
  • Do I look like a submissive?  And what the hell does a submissive look like?!

I mean, all power to you in your alternative lifestyle.  Seriously, enjoy.  But… why is it what people lead with?  What happened to meeting for coffee?  Or dinner?  Or drinks?  I know I’ve never dated before… but that’s what dating looks like in the movies… so that’s how it’s supposed to be… right?

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a man on match.  Successful, funny, kind.  He seemed great.  Just as we were getting to the planning of a meeting he informed me that he was looking for a woman who would go out on weekends, sleep with other men, and then come home to tell him about it.

Isn’t that at least a third date conversation?!

Maybe I should get a second cat…


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