The Thing Is? It’s So Not Me.

I bought the most ridiculous dress for New Years.  Red, tight, cut down to there, with a slit up to here… It’s quite the dress.  And I’ve been trying really really hard to like it.

The thing is?  It’s so not me.

The dress is packed in a box and will be on it’s way back to whence it came on Monday.

I have often wanted to be a red dress kind of girl.  The kind of girl whose hair is done perfectly everyday.  Who has make-up that doesn’t smudge.  Who understands what the hell contouring is.  Who gets a monthly mani/pedi instead of a bi-annual one.

I want to turn heads when I walk into a room.

The thing is?  It’s so not me.

No matter how hard I try there is always going to be something amiss with an outfit.  I will have a run in my pantyhose.  The shoes won’t quite match.  The dress will be something from the thrift shop that I adore and my friends can’t quite understand.  My ratty pink purse will be put with it all regardless of whether or not it’s colour coordinated.  I’ll be covered in paint or pen or cat scratches or bruises (and don’t bother asking what they’re from… I have no idea).

I hate doing my hair.  It’s always wet from the shower when I leave the house and is lucky to have seen a brush.  It has never, and will never, see a bottle of dye.

I wear mascara because my eyelashes are too blonde to be seen.  That is… I wear mascara when I remember.  Even then I sometimes get to work and realize that I missed one eye.

I love clothes and I have a ridiculous collection.  They may not be trendy, but I love them and they are mine.  They come as much from the Thrift Shop (and random hand-me-downs) as the mall and I don’t care.  I’ve grown into the fact that I don’t need to be trendy if I love what I’m wearing.

(Go ahead, make fun of my military style jacket: it’s my prized possession).

So the red dress is going back.  I really admire the girl who can wear it – she rocks.

As for me, I’m going to wear my little demure lace dress.  Or the hot pink one.  Or the sweater dress that I teach in.  Or that stripey one that hurts everyone’s eyes.

Whichever I choose though?  I’m wearing these shoes with it.  Because they are my new favourite thing.

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