Is It Time For An Invisible Boyfriend?!

My cousin sent me something kind of amazing this afternoon.  Seriously.

Click here to read something that will make you go… WTF?!

If you don’t have the time or desire to read it I’ll summarize.  The articles talks about a new app that will create a virtual boyfriend (or girlfriend) for you.  For a fee of $24.99 you will receive photos of the two of you together, 100 text messages, 10 voice mails and 1 handwritten note.  You can even have a real-time text conversation with your “boyfriend” in front of your colleagues.  Keep in mind… this is an app.  As in, not real.  As in, the “boyfriend” is some computer program spewing love at you.

For $24.99.

I… I… can’t even.

Honestly, where to begin?  I guess that this is as good a starting point as any…

It’s all the security of a partner, without the time-consuming dates or complication.

What?!

Isn’t the security of a partner in their arms, their kiss, their phone calls and their support?  Since when is it in texts or voice mails or 1 handwritten note?!

If you find dating time-consuming or having someone in your life too complicated (it’s never going to be simple) you should probably just be okay with being alone.

I.  Don’t.  Understand.

I’m also so curious that I’ve spent the past hour trying to justify spending $24.99 just to try it.  I want an invisible boyfriend too if that’s what all the cool kids are doing!  🙂

(Can I just note here that if someone had told me about their invisible boyfriend prior to this I would have assumed that they were talking about a VERY different kind of arrangement?)

I have come up with a few valid reasons to have one of these.

  • If you aren’t close with your family and you are tired of being asked if you’ve met someone yet.  (And you are okay with lying to them.)  
  • If you are sick of random men hitting on you.  (“Teehee, my boyfriend just keeps texting me, isn’t he cute?!”)
  • If you are really lonely and just want to feel some love.  (This makes me very very sad.)

Being a single woman isn’t always fun.  I have had men tap my ring finger and ask “so what’s going on here?”.  I have had inappropriate boob/bum grazes.  I have been asked by the parents and grandparents of my students “why a girl like (me) isn’t married?”.  (Serious, unforgivable personality deficiencies and body odor is my preferred answer.)  I can see why, at these moments, it might be nice to say that my boyfriend just sent me a text.

My invisi-boyfriend.

I’ll leave you with the wisdom of Lena Dunham:

f527ab4ff4f9d8fdb8632a57e293d46c

All for the low low price of $24.99?

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