“Is The Sweetheart You Married The Husband You Expected Him To Be?”

Has anyone else ever watched Kimbra’s “Settle Down” obsessively?

No?  Shoot… It’s just me?

I find the song as catchy as its music video is disturbing.

The fashion and vibe of the video is very much 50s.  Are we seeing the past here?  Is this song written for our Grandmothers who really did have very few other options?

Or is she trying to say that we are still here today?

I don’t get it and it frustrates me.  I feel like it connects too much with my past experiences.  I feel like it accuses me, a woman who probably has said to her boyfriend in the past few months something about our potential-future-children having his nose, of being pathetic and desperate.  (OMG, that does sound pathetic now that I’ve put it into print).  I feel like it accuses me of wanting too much, manipulating to get there.  I feel like it consigns me to an unhappy future.

Baby there’s no need to run/I’ll love you well

It’s time to bring you down/On just one knee for now

It’s all about convincing him, whatever it takes.  It’s about manipulating men into wanting to be with us.  We are going to bring him down.

Are we women just that desperate?  Are our men just that resistant?

Are women conditioned to want marriage?  Babies?  If we were raised differently would we want different things?

I don’t know.  I suspect that my nature isn’t strictly because of nurture but I can’t ever know.

I suspect that men want these things as much as we do… Even if they feel a little less pressured about it.

I don’t really care.  I’m not some mindless product of social conditioning.

I mean.  I totally don’t think I am?






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