Is it okay to say that I am sick of being on my own?
Is it okay to say that I am tired of going to bed alone, getting up alone, making dinner for one?
Is it okay to say that I am tired of car repairs and house repairs and budgets?
Is it okay to say that I am tired of having no shoulder to cry on or share the load?
Is it okay to say that sometimes I get scared that this is it for me?
My life is full and fun and wonderful. I’m not waiting for a knight on a white horse. I’m not compromising on some man. I am whole and fine on my own.
This doesn’t change the truth that… being on one’s own? Some days it’s hard. It’s so damn hard.
And some days that just soaks in and won’t let go.
So I go for a long walk. Or sing for a few hours. Or have a drink with a friend.
And it’s great.
But it doesn’t replace having someone to shoulder life with.
I feel like saying “I’m lonely” or “I’m scared” isn’t okay. But here’s my 3am confession…
I know I can do it on my own. I know that in the morning things will look brighter.
But tonight? It’s so damn hard.