A good friend of mine went on a date this past weekend. It was with a promising prospect though she had already identified that this person might be a bit too obsessed with nutrition for her. (We discussed this possibility over a very grown up dinner of pancakes). This is a woman who is in extraordinary shape, she really humbles me. She runs marathons and bikes and swims. She leaves me in awe.
As they wandered on their date the man began to ask her about her fitness regime, questioning her about supplements, nutrition, eating plan. He asked if she was happy with her body and she replied, honestly, that she was happy with how strong and capable her body was but that, like anyone else, she had parts of herself that she was less happy with than others.
Her date then leaned over and poked her tummy.
I think that the most amazing part of this story is that this man is still living and in possession of all his important parts. I think that I would have become violent. I am in awe of my friend even more now. She has restraint. Major league restraint.
My body is voluptuous. I fluctuate between a size 12 and 14 and I’m 5’5″. My bra is an E cup. My hips are big and I have a tummy. Stretch marks map my thighs.
And if I get naked with you? You better thank your lucky stars.
Last year I bought the first bikini I had owned since I was 18. It was high waisted and covered the bottom half of my tummy. But my rolls hang out when I wear it and I really don’t care.
We, none of us, are perfect. And when we are dating we need to find someone who can look at our particular imperfections and love them. (Or at least see past them). Loving someone is about being with them. Grumpy morning mood, matted morning hair, your inability to make conversation until after the first cup of coffee has sit in. It’s about smiling at my inability to check the mail more than once a month or the fact that I brush my teeth in the shower.
My body isn’t my favourite part of myself. I am overweight and I am not strong. I have issues with pain and chronic illness. The past few weeks have seen me with several migraines and an inability to sleep due to pain.
But it’s just one part of the whole. And I try really hard to love it. And no one else has the right to comment on it. No one.
So, if I get naked with you?
Get on your knees, thank the Gods, and make it worth my while.
Otherwise? Stay home.
And never, ever, poke me in the tummy.